


You Got Me On A Cliffs Edge

by smallstarfox



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Sex Shop, Crack Treated Seriously, Dare, F/F, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Sex Shop, Sexual Humor, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Vibrators, Written on a Dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21736624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallstarfox/pseuds/smallstarfox
Summary: After failing a supposedly easy test, Yaz is set up on a dare by Bill to go into the local sex shop and buy something. What she doesn't expect to find in there, is an overly entheusiastic blonde who is somehow rather cute.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 15
Kudos: 86





	You Got Me On A Cliffs Edge

**Author's Note:**

> Gods I forgot this even existed deep in my WIPS but now you all have to suffer with me through this.  
> Consider this the only 'crack' I will ever write.

“Come on, you lost the bet, you’re going in there.”

“Look, the least you can do is come in with me, no way I’m going in on my own.”

“Fine, but you still have to buy something by yourself. Them’s the rules.”

Grumbling a curse under her breath, Yaz pushed open the blacked out door, not surprised by the little bell that rang out as she did so. The store was just as dark as the alleyway they had come down, although she had to appreciate the little doormat to wipe her feet on. Her original mental image of a dingy, cramped shop was actually somewhat thrown out of the water. Despite the dim lighting, obviously for aesthetic purposes, the store had enough space for at least a dozen people to walk around in. All the shelves were neatly stacked, items easy to browse through, with all the different sections clearly labelled. Yaz was nothing if not a little shocked. Much to her dismay, Bill had instantly made a beeline towards an area filled with restraints and harnesses, giving them a good and thorough look-over. Yaz scampered over, unable to hide her wide-eyed stare.

“Damn, this place really does have everything. We seriously lucked out on this one. And here I was thinking all these places sold were porno dvds and faux-realistic dildos.”

Yaz wanted to groan, to slap her friend, anything...except she was distracted by a sudden mass of blonde hair obscuring her view. Apparently, they weren’t alone in the shop, as a woman craned her neck to see what both of them were looking at.

“Oh, this place has everything. I should know, I restocked this morning. Have to say, can’t say I pegged you two ladies as the bondage type. The more you know! Grab me if ya need a hand. I got two just for this, you know.”

Just like that, she was gone again, disappearing behind the counter and into the room at the back. Dumbfounded, Yaz turned back to Bill, who was doing nothing but grinning like a maniac. Yaz hated that look on her face, it always meant she was up to no good. Mostly, it was that face that had caused her to lose the bet at uni. She was never going to live down failing such a simple test. Why did she even need to remember classics? It wasn’t anything to do with her law degree.

“Man, she’s hot. Got a bit of a teacher vibe going on. I like that. Ugh, why couldn’t it have been some greasy horny dude, now I’m gonna get mad jealous.”

“Oh my god Bill, shut up, she can probably hear you!”

Whispering harshly through gritted teeth, Yaz took Bill by the arm and dragged her to a more...palatable part of the shop. Lingerie she could handle, that was fine, although the amount of crotchless pants and non-existant bras she found made her want to gouge her own eyes out. At least some of the things were tasteful, expect for the nurse’s uniform Bill was currently brandishing in front of her.

“What do you think she’s into then? Gotta be one for the roleplay. I could see her rocking a-”

Hearing the sound of a door opening and closing, Yaz promptly smacked Bill on the back of her shoulder, glaring hard even as she laughed through the pain.

“Geez, you should be a copper. Surprised you didn’t twist my arm back or something. Fine, I’ll put it down. You gotta pick something to get though.”

It was going to be a terribly long day. In an attempt to appease Bill, Yaz turned towards one of the shelving units in the middle of the shop. It held boxes and display units of a variety of vibrators, all different sizes and colours. If she was being honest with herself, in her naivety Yaz assumed that there was only one kind. Maybe two at a push. It was a bit of an overload for her system. Thankfully, she was left alone to look, as Bill bounded off to another part of the shop, one where Yaz could hear her giggling away to herself. Whatever she had found, at least it was keeping her amused. Finally free to do more of what she wanted to do, Yaz tentatively picked up one of the smaller units. It was silver in colour, with a small purple button on the underside, somewhere between egg shaped and that of a more standard cylindrical toy.

On the shelf itself, under the display model, was a little label that read ‘try me’. Although she knew full well what it meant, it didn’t stop a terribly indecent image from quickly flashing through her mind. Bill was an awful influence, but she loved her. Most of the time. Curiosity got the better of her as her thumb pressed against the small button. Almost instantly, the toy began to vibrate softly, the noise faintly reverberating through the room. She went to press the button again to turn it off, but felt a presence behind her. As she turned, Yaz was met face to face with the blonde shop assistant again.

“Ah, good choice. Great all-rounder, this. You gotta hold the button to turn it off though, otherwise it just cycles through settings. You’d be positively over the moon with the third mode, a shockingly good time, that. Leave you all of a quiver. Ever had anything like this before?”

Yaz watched the toy being taken from her numbing hands, the blonde quickly pressing the button twice more before handing it back to her. Sure enough, the vibrations had increased tenfold, but it also had a strange pulsing sensation.

“I...no...I’ve n-never...um…”

Her evident awkwardness seemed to not phase the attendant in the slightest. She was just smiling at her, in an almost childish way, but the kind that was more adorable than condescending. She took the toy back again and switched it off with all the finesse that Yaz had come to expect, popping back into its place and scanning the rest of the items. The silence was killing Yaz, but soon the blonde was off and gesturing her over to another part of the store. With little else to do, and mind running on some kind of backup power, Yaz dutifully followed her. Another item was put into her hands, but this time it was considerably smaller.

So small in fact, Yaz had no idea what she was even holding. It just looked like a small, half-sized battery. It was a semi-translucent purple colour, with a single flick switch on the underside.

“If you’ve never tried anything like those before, which I totally get by the way, they can be really daunting prospects, then maybe this would be more up your alley? I normally try and get women to try the most basic of vibrators, the bullets are proper amazing, but I get the feeling you’re more the discrete and compact type. Go on, nudge the switch.”

Yaz’s eyes darted between the miniscule device and the blonde, an eyebrow raising in confusion. Surely she was having her on at that point. Before she could do as instructed, the blonde took hold of one of her hands and moved her fingers for her. Soon enough, the small device began to vibrate in the palm of her hand.

“They’re actually pretty handy little things, those battery vibrators. You’re kind of meant to put them inside tongue rings so you can make going down on someone just that little bit extra special, but they’re just as good on their own if you need to get off quickly and quietly. Plus, you can get six for a tenner. That’s some insanely good value if you ask me. That’ll keep you going for a couple of months easy. Oh, you’re friend’s coming back. Lemme know when you wanna buy something, alright? Have fun!”

And she was gone again. Was that woman the living embodiment of a sugar high crossed with caffeine? Yaz fumbled around with the small device in her hand, clutching it behind her back as Bill came bounding over again. A single tear clung to her mascara, and Yaz could only assume she had started crying from giggling so hard at something. When a photo of Bill next to a rather impossibly sized dildo was pushed into her face, yaz’s suspicions were rudely confirmed.

“Who on earth can take something that size?! This place is amazing and terrifying in equal measure. Anyway, did’ya find anything to buy yet? I’m starting to get hungry and fancy a chippy.”

“I…”

Yaz paused, toying with the small battery behind her. She could risk just getting those, but then again, Bill would probably never let her hear the end of chickening out so hard. But she didn’t really want anything from the store at all. Nothing appealed to her, in any way. Sliding the battery haphazardly back onto the shelf receptacle, she turned her attention back to the row of vibrators. They were her only hope at a quiet life. Yaz slid past Bill and pointed to the silver one that she had had an extensive demonstration and description of by the attendant, but left that information secret. It was instantly snatched up by Bill, who scrutinized it from every angle before popping it back on the shelf and thrusting a brand new box into Yaz’s hands.

“Go on then. Do this and I'll make it even and get you a butty.”

With a harsh sigh, watching as Bill made her way out of the shop and practically abandoning her, Yaz made her way over to the counter where the blonde was busy scribbling around on a writing pad. When she put the item down, her attention came back up, eyes moving up and down between the box and Yaz herself. It was then that she noticed that they were a striking shade between hazel and green, and Yaz could feel heat creeping up her neck and across her cheeks. Now was not the time to be getting flustered.

“Oh aye, well I’ll be. I’d say I’m stunned, but also delighted. You aren’t gonna regret this riveting purchase, not one bit! Glad to see my skills swayed you. Anyway, we’ve got a little offer on today. Seeing as you got one of the vibes that’re over twenty quid, we’re gonna throw in a little bottle of sensation enhancing gel. Slide a bit over your new toy and feel the sparks fly. Anyway, that’ll be twenty four ninety-nine please, love.”

Whilst Yaz fumbled around in her side back for her wallet, still forever cursing the whole situation, the blonde packed both items away in an unmarked purple carrier bag, sliding it across the counter and taking Yaz’s contactless payment with a beaming smile. Desperately wanting to get out of the store and have the day done with, Yaz left without responding to the enthusiastic goodbye, breaking out into the clear air with another sigh. Bill was at her side quickly, offering out an arm for her to take with an almost apologetic smile on her face.

“Still want that chippy?”

“Yeah...you totally owe me after that. How much did you spend anyway?”

As they walked back through the alleyway and onto the high street, Yaz fumbled around in the bag until she caught hold of the receipt. She was about to read the price out to Bill, but something made her pause. That something being a small piece of card attached to the receipt. Yaz stopped in her tracks, holding the receipt close to her face as she turned the card around as best she could despite the staple. All it did was pique Bill’s interest in what she was looking at, but the receipt was soon shoved back into the bag.

“Penny off twenty five. Now, you said chippy. Let’s go.”  


“Ey, no, wait! What was that on your receipt? Yaz? Yaz!”

As Yaz sped off, Bill gave chase, completely unaware of the massive blush lighting up her friend’s face.

_ ‘Test drive? Call me. Jenni.’ _

**Author's Note:**

> Want a second chapter to this? A bit of a demonstration?  
> Tell me so in the comments and I might just deliver to hide this atrocity.


End file.
